Kamis, 01 Februari 2018

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber Are at It Again With the Hockey Rink

Maybe we've been thinking about Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez wrong this whole time. The usual tale—the one told round the camp fire since the beginning of time—should sound familiar: The Canadian crooner and Disney graduate have gone up and down. Each ascent and each slip-and-fall to their romantic nadir have been documented in these pages of the Internet. That timeline will remain there indefinitely, like hieroglyphics for some alien species that descend to Earth to learn more about this whole "love" racket they keep hearing about at the space cantina. These visitors will most likely leave with more questions than answers.

The Jelena business has been happening since 2010, which means we're all a thousand years old and very tired. And it's continuing to this very day; the Daily Mail has published photos showing Gomez at a hockey rink in Los Angeles on Wednesday. She's there to watch Bieber participate in his favorite pastime, the game of ice sticky-sticks, like any Canuck worth his weight in syrup. It's nice! It's a very nice thing to do for her on-again, off-again boyfriend! She's showed up at the rink before. Fairly recently, too. And like last time, this is a sure sign of love, showing interest in his hobbies. Before that, too, they attended a bible study together. Right now, they are most certainly on and up.

But what goes up must come down, as a certain theory goes, and that kind of reasoning girds the outing in a sinister quality. It makes a person look hard at that fro-yo Gomez was photographed eating, and wonder, "What's she thinking? How is everything between those two?" It's a bit of bummer, this undertow of concern! These two kids, who have barely finished the first quarter of their lives, should be able to enjoy the sweet fro-yo of life. But who could forget the weekend that she dated The Weeknd? Or the Victoria's Secret models Bieber has been linked to over the years? Who could forget that her friends and family seem to disapprove from afar? Who could forget that they both have given interview after interview about how they're not together? What goes up must come down.

Unless, of course, that's not the way we choose to understand these two. To free ourselves of this tabloid samsara, we could read Wednesday's hockey/church/fro-yo date differently, consider it more of a circular thing. Round and round and round these two go, much like the hockey rink itself. They will show up for each other until they don't, which we've seen before. That would simply complete the rotation, before it starts again. Or they'll continue showing up together, forever and ever, amen. Time is a flat circle. Life is a merry-go-round. No more of this up-and-down stuff. Somebody figure out how to explain this more clearly to the aliens, please. They're probably very confused right now.

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