Grab yer popcorn.
2017 delivered us some game-changing albums, some earth-shattering tracks, and some almighty, wondrous, headline-grabbing music beefs.
From veteran rockers taking on popstars, to old rivals jumping back in the ring for another round and the Gallagher brothers continuing their tradition of hating absolutely everything and everyone, 2017 really did have it all.
In honour of this year of beef, we've recapped the best and most brutal of them all. Dive in, and get your popcorn ready.
The Background
Back in July 2016, Bieber began selling a line of t-shirts that completely ripped off an established Marilyn Manson design — claiming that Manson himself had given their blessing to "reinterpret" the merch.
The Blow Up
Manson revealed in an interview that when the pair met up at a bar to discuss the shirts, Bieber told him straight up: "I made you relevant again."
"Bad mistake to say to me," Manson told Consequence Of Sound. "He was a real piece of shit in the way he had the arrogance to say that. He was a real touchy-feely guy, too, like, 'yo yo bro!' and touches you when he's talking. I'm like, 'you need to stand down, you're dick height on me, okay?' 'Alright? So stand down son.'"
Bieber — probably sensing he was about to get mightily owned — hastily and sheepishly apologised to Manson over text. All seemed well, until Manson said this in another radio interview:
"Well [Justin Bieber's] in some sort of sexual religious cult with an Asian version of Dave Navarro, apparently," Manson said, probably referring to his involvement with Australia's own Hillsong. "The guy doesn't wear a shirt… But no, I don't like to fight with girls, so I don't want to fight with Justin Bieber."
Manson was then what Bieber was thinking when he repurposed the merch, and dryly responded: "I don't know, because I don't know how to use the mind of a squirrel. I'm not really sure what he was thinking."
WINNER: MARILYN MANSON
The Background
Swift and Perry have been subtly swiping at each other for a long time — a drama that dates back to 2012, when some of the back-up dancers booked to perform on Swift's tour defected to join Perry's show.
So when Swift released her 2014 track 'Bad Blood', we all knew who it was about. And when Katy tweeted about a "Regina George in sheep's clothing", it wasn't hard to figure out who she was referring to.
The Blow Up
In 2017 the pop cold war geared up when Katy Perry officially confirmed the story about the back-up dancers during her appearance on James Corden's Carpool Karaoke.
She also down a challenge to Swift: "She started it, and it's time for her to finish it…"
For one hot minute, it seemed as if Perry was finally ready to bury the hatchet and join Swift's squad. But of course, she wasn't: instead Perry went on to release 'Swish Swish', a single that was entirely devoted to telling everyone how awful Swift was and how Perry was going to put her in a casket. Which slightly muddled her narrative of 'forgive and forget'.
But in the end, it was Swift that struck the biggest blow. After keeping her music off Spotify for years, she chose to release her entire back catalogue to the streaming service on the exact same day as Perry released her new album Witness. Which is some next level, dastardly shit.
WINNER: TAYLOR SWIFT BY DEFAULT
The Background
Minaj and Ma's rivalry started all the way back in 2007, when Minaj threw lyrical punches at Ma on her debut mixtape, Playtime Is Over. But with Ma spending a good chunk of the last decade behind bars due to her involvement in a shooting, their beef was placed on hold until this year when Ma was released from prison.
The Blow Up
Minaj got out of the gates early, devoting her guest verse on Gucci Mane's 'Make Love' to tearing into Ma: "First I'ma scorch her, then I'ma torch her / Then I'ma torture her, then I'ma off her… I'm the iPhone, you the Nokia / Everybody know you jealous, bitch it's so clear."
Ma responded by rebranding Nas' immortal diss track 'Ether' as 'shETHER' and brutally going after Minaj: "Talking 'bout bringing knives to a fight with guns / When the only shot you ever took was in your buns / And I saw Meek at All-Star, he told me your ass dropped / He couldn't fuck you for three months because your ass dropped."
Minaj got her own back, releasing the incendiary 'No Frauds' and laying out a challenge to Ma on Instagram: "You got 72 hours to drop a hit and I'll give you half a million dollars if you can book ANY show or interview without mentioning the Queen name."
Oddly enough, Ma has yet to deliver.
WINNER: NICKI MINAJ
The Background
In 2014, Taylor Swift released her album 1989. In 2015, Ryan Adams covered the entire album. Shortly after, Father John Misty released covers of Ryan Adams' covers, a troll that could not be more perfectly FJM if it tried.
"My reinterpretation of the classic Ryan Adams album 1989," Misty captioned his 'Blank Space' SoundCloud upload, tongue firmly in cheek, before calling Adams' album a "grotesque stunt".
The Blow Up
Adams got royally stuck into Father John Misty in August, labelling him "Sir Fuckhead" and "the most self-important asshole on earth".
Adams purported to be offended by Austin City Limits' decision to book the Pure Comedy hitmaker for the festival, but let's be real: it was probably about the Swift covers. Whatever the reason, this tweet was the result:
He went on write that Misty sounded like "shit Elton John but if he was just sitting in a corner staring at his hands on LSD".
Adams deleted the tweets not long after they hit the internet, and apologised to Misty via Instagram.
"I'm human and I have bad days," he wrote. "It happens. I apologise. I took a deep breath and remembered I can always do better… I am very tired but it's no excuse to be cruel to others, even if they have shown me that same meanness."
Father John Misty's response? "I hope he's okay." Game, set and match.
WINNER: FATHER JOHN MISTY
The Background
Chad Kroeger ignited this beef with a bang in June, labelling Corey Taylor's band Stone Sour "Nickelback lite" during an interview with heavy website Metal Covenant.
"They're trying to be Nickelback," Kroeger scoffed. "Corey Taylor talks about how easy it is to write a hit song — well, show me! Write one. I have yet to hear one from him."
The Blow Up
Taylor — not one to back away from a fight — hit back a couple of days later.
"I never said it was easy to write a hit song," Taylor replied. "I don't know what planet he lives on… there must be good weed there, 'cos he's an idiot. All I know is I've been voted 'Sexiest Dude In Rock' wearing a mask. You've been voted 'Ugliest Dude In Rock' twice without one. Stick that up your ass."
Not only that, but he revealed that some other members of Nickelback had actually called him to apologise for Kroeger's comments: "Like 'it's not us, we promise. It's just this guy.' That just tells you the level of ego you're dealing with," Taylor laughed.
He signed off by labelling Kroeger "Captain Ego from Planet Douche".
WINNER: COREY TAYLOR
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Jules LeFevre is Staff Writer for Music Junkee and inthemix. She is on Ryan Adams' side. She is on Twitter.
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