Each base will give you that eerie vibe of deja vu. "Haven't I been to this BX or PX before? I know I've seen that static display." With PCS season upon us, you'll also be running into the same people all over again.
1. The gate guard
The automobile is a sacred space. It's where we feel free to pick our noses in full view of strangers. It's where we drag our children when they misbehave in restaurants. And every time we roll down our windows to hand out our ID cards, we give the individuals keeping our installations safe an intimate glimpse into our little traveling circuses.
They know how you like to crank up Justin Bieber, and it's not even new, kinda cool Justin Bieber; it's little, 12-year-old Justin Bieber. They've seen your kids melting down in the back seat. They've even met your parents and been gracious enough to pose for some souvenir photos.
You'll try to reason that they meet way too many people to remember little old you, but they won't forget. How could they?
2. The acquaintances from your last station who suddenly feel like family
If chitchat were a field of study, we'd all have master's degrees by now. "What base are you coming from? Do you know so-and-so? Are you living on or off base?"
At some point we all just want someone who knows our backstory, no small talk required. Someone who witnessed how un-festively competitive you got at the squadron Christmas party, yet didn't unfriend you on Facebook will do just fine.
3. The person who has enough friends
No matter how cool you are or how kismet your inevitable friendship might seem, this individual just doesn't have time for you. It's not that he or she is a bad person. In fact, you likely have been this person at one time or another.
The timing is off. Maybe they're in a real good groove with their old friends or they just have no more chitchat left to give right now. Someday the stars may align for the two of you to discover your mutual love of Jem and the Holograms, but for now all you can do is move on.
4. Your hair stylist
For a while you may revolve your trips home to visit Mom around the times when you need a trim. Once you tire of these expensive hair pilgrimages, you'll ask for recommendations in the base Facebook groups. Everyone will swear by Marzipan — they'll say she's just the best. Somehow, Marzipan will give you a mullet so noticeable that even your husband will comment on it (true story).
Don't give up hope. You will find the one who makes you love your follicles like a lady in a shampoo commercial. And then you will move.
5. The cake lady
She isn't just a cake lady, although she could be a cake lady. Or she could be a sewing lady or even a photography dude. Whoever she/he is, she/he is a master of their craft and everybody knows it, not because she/he is braggadocious, but because she/he is just that good.
6. Your best buds
These are the people whose work and sleep schedules magically align with yours, your kids' and your dogs'. Their preferences in movies, food and game nights (or hatred of game nights) are completely synchronized with yours. These are the people you'll finally feel comfortable enough with to let come over when your house looks … well, you know how it looks.
You will meet these people, but it will never be soon enough. In fact, science shows it will probably be when one of you is about to PCS.
Lauren Mendel is an Air Force spouse.
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