Justin Bieber is nude again. Okay. We get it. But the timing of these nudes, which depict the singer skinny dipping with a model in what appears to be a random pond in Hawaii, is... interesting.
You may be aware that Bieber is not the first famous male to be photographed naked this week. Earlier this week, the actor Orlando Bloom was caught by paparazzi paddle boarding with his girlfriend Katy Perry. Perry was clothed, Bloom was not. You can see his droopy uncircumcised penis here and here, if you so choose.
You also may be aware that Bloom and Bieber have history. Two years ago, Bloom swung at Bieber at a Cipriani in Ibiza as Leonardo DiCaprio looked on cackling. The source of the beef was the commingling of the two very bad boys' love lives: Bieber had allegedly slept with Bloom's ex-wife Miranda Kerr, while the two were still together, perhaps leading to their separation. In apparent retaliation, Bloom allowed himself to be photographed hanging out on a curb with Bieber's ex Selena Gomez. The four wove a sticky web that has now expanded to include Perry, Mariah Carey, and Snapchat founder Evan Speigel.
So Bieber being snapped with his dick out just days after Bloom made headlines for the same reason is curious. Maybe it's just a coincidence, but something about these photos seems pre-planned, as if the paparazzi was tipped off to Bieber's location. Here are the (safe for work) photos in question—you'll have to click through the tweet to see them in full:
Maybe Ray—who, again, is a model—just naturally perches topless on large rocks in a perfect position to be photographed. You know, muscle memory and all. In the photos of Bieber, you can see that the paparazzo is shooting from behind some shrubbery, but—unlike Bieber's first round of skinny dipping pictures, which look like they were shot from a galaxy away—the pap appears to be just a few feet off from the pair. Maybe this photographer is the Ethan Hunt of paps... or maybe Bieber and Ray okayed his presence there.
But if Bieber was sending some shot at Bloom, what even would it be? That his dick is bigger? It doesn't appear to be, frankly, and anyway we already know what Bieber's looks like. So, I dunno. I have no idea what he's doing, but I'm not sure he does either.
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