Why Has Justin Bieber Been Sucking on a Pacifier Lately?

By JB Lacroix/WireImage/Getty Images

Why is Justin Bieber sucking on a pacifier? Mind you, the question is not, is Justin Bieber sucking on a pacifier? Because we know he is. It's right there on the Canadian superstar's Instagram page. The tattooed songbird posted a photo of himself in front of a yacht, standing between two friends, with a pacifier stuck in his mouth. Look:

You see it there? It's real. There is no question of whether or not Justin Bieber has been using a pacifier lately. (And, in fact, there are other photos to corroborate.) The question then is that persistent, urgent why? Why would Justin Bieber—now a man grown of 2 and 20 years—suck on a pacifier, a comfort item for little babies being weaned off the teat?

Well, as soon as these photos surfaced, some time in the last two days, theories sprouted up on the Internet like mushrooms in the night. The most persistent one, and the most believable, is that Bieber is employing the pacifier to help him quit smoking. (Oral fixation and all.) If that is indeed the case, we shouldn't tease him.

Smoking is a bad habit with a vise-like grip on those afflicted by it, so we should praise Bieber for trying to quit however he can. Who cares if the pacifier looks a little funny, or that the pictures open the door wide for lots of jokes about how Bieber is a li'l bratty baby. The point is that Bieber is trying to do something positive for his health, and it's important that we support him in that. Sure, an e-cigarette or whatever would have maybe been a slightly more socially acceptable way to go about this, but a lot of those use nicotine, so a pacifier is a cleaner break. Also, e-cigarettes are inherently a little dorky, while the pacifier is so out-there that it kinda becomes cool. So, suck away, Bieber!

If the smoking rumors are not true, well then, who knows why Justin Bieber is using a pacifier. Maybe it's a new scene he's into. In which case, hey, no judgment. Whatever floats your boat down the Saint Lawrence Seaway of life. (That's an old Canadian saying.) Who are we to judge? Nobodies, that's who.

Richard LawsonRichard Lawson is a columnist for Vanity Fair's Hollywood, reviewing film and television and covering entertainment news and gossip. He lives in New York City.

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