Cameras finally captured Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin K-I-S-S-I-N-G. After all the will they, won't they, where's Selena between these two, it would appear they very much will—a bunch, all around the New York City boroughs. See this video of the couple making out in Williamsburg, published on TMZ.
In spite of all the evidence that they've left in their wake, I find it hard to believe they're dating. They recently attended a church convention together in Miami, then hit the clubs. They walked around and dined at Soho House's Cecconi's. And now, they're making out.
There's something fishy about it, no? Maybe the problem with the picture is that it's too perfect. He, a pop star who's lived a thousand lives in his 24 years. She, a Baldwin. The way she recently mentioned him in The Times U.K., saying they were on, and then they were off, and "there was a lot of weirdness that went on." The clear and well-cropped photographs published in the Daily Mail and People and TMZ. The video of them kissing? The video of Bieber guiding Baldwin into the S.U.V. so he could accommodate the paparazzi? There must be a reason for it all, if you know what I mean.
Listen, is this a cynical perspective? Sure. Is God working on all of us? Allegedly! TMZ reports that the makeouts happened in Domino Park and then continued on the other side of the East River, in Battery Park City's Rockefeller Park. My best guess? This whole relationship is an advertisement by the New York City Parks and Recreation Department. "N.Y.C. parks: a nice place to make out," goes the slogan I just made up. "Make out on one side of the Williamsburg Bridge. Then make out on the other! Come discover the possible backdrops for your next makeout session today in New York City parks!"
Domino Park just opened earlier this month. It needs a face to sponsor it. Why not enlist very cool young things, Bieber and a Baldwin, to bring attention to it? Yes, Bill de Blasio is responsible for this in some way. He's gotta be.
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