The 411mania Douchebag of the Week
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the latest edition of The 411 Douchebag of the Week. I'm Bryan Kristopowitz.
Singer and pop culture personality Taylor Swift apparently debuted a "new look" this past weekend while performing in Austin, Texas, as part of festivities for the U.S Grand Prix. According to this article, Swift wore a choker for the first time ever and it's the dawn of a new fashion era.
Yes, that's right. Swift wore a choker and now everything is different. I'm not entirely sure how Swift's choker changes everything, but if the internets proclaims a massive change is afoot then it must be true. People will apparently start wearing chokers and will then, I guess, argue over which is more "Swift" like. And it all will matter because… I really have no idea why it will matter. I clearly don't understand fashion or the pop culture corner that Swift exists in. I doubt that Swift's new fashion choice will seriously alter my life in any way. Will it alter your life?
Well, if it will alter your life, good God, I hope you're prepared for what happens next.
This sort of thing is analogous to people like ABC's David Muir and NBC's Lester Holt claiming that "everyone" is talking about something that "went viral today" and then realizing that you have absolutely no fucking clue what "everyone" is talking about. A cat drove a semi-truck into a pool in Florida? A turtle burped the theme to Cheers? A police officer yelled at a brick wall for charity? Someone is manufacturing hot dogs in the shape of the Batman symbol? I didn't hear about any of that shit.
Anyone else out there bothered by this kind of thing? Bothered just a little bit?
And now onto this week's Douchebag of the Week.
This week, the 411 Douchebag of the Week goes to Justin Bieber, for losing his mind on his fans at a recent concert. According to the story over at TMZ, Bieber, in the middle of a concert in the UK, became upset when his fans wouldn't stop cheering while he was trying to "go deep" and, I guess, explain himself as an artist or a human being or some shit.
Now, I know that Bieber is still young and "trying to figure his life out" and people are allowed to make mistakes, but it would seem that a seasoned performer, young or not, would have handled a "disturbance" like cheering fans like a professional. A seasoned performer would have made a joke out of the situation, would have waited for the fans to get the cheering out of their system, would have turned the moment into a bit of fun and not an incredibly uncomfortable moment. Justin Bieber has been a professional singer/musician/performer for almost a decade. He's been around the world multiple times, he has a rabid fan base that can't get enough of his music/persona, and he's made tons of money during the entire stretch. When does he stop acting out and start acting like a seasoned professional?
But what about his management? What about his enablers? What about his "people?" Aren't they to blame for the condition Bieber finds himself in at the moment? Absolutely. They are likely a huge part of Bieber's problems (and TMZ has an ever growing list of Bieber's issues here). They should stop exploiting him and let him rest/calm down/stop acting like an entitled douchebag. At the same time, Bieber is an adult and can make his own choices. Since he is essentially the franchise and the thing that makes his entourage rich, without Bieber there is no money, no fame no anything. He has the ability to dictate what he wants to do and what he doesn't want to do. If Bieber is tired/worn out from his fame and persona, he can tell everyone that he isn't going to do anything he doesn't want to do anymore.
It's also, above all else, just plain wrong for Bieber (or any professional performer) to denigrate his fans in any way since, without them, he has no career. If no one shows up for a concert, to buy a CD, to download a song, Justin Bieber is just a name. On the stage, you have to give the audience what it wants. And the audience doesn't want its hero to make them uncomfortable.
But what about mistakes? Didn't I say earlier that people are allowed to make mistakes? Yes. Bieber, like every other person on the planet Earth, is allowed to make mistakes. Mistakes happen. People have bad days. That doesn't mean, though, when Bieber makes a mistake that he shouldn't be called out on it. And Bieber's on stage attitude in the UK is a mistake.
So come on, Bieber. Figure out your life, let your fans be your fans, and stop acting like the Justin Bieber that was onstage in the UK. It just ain't cool.
**
And now for this week's honorable mentions…
-Former baseball player and sports personality Curt Schilling, for whatever the hell he thought he was talking about in regards to Jewish Americans and Israel. Just go to this link and this link and try to figure out what it is that Schilling is trying to express. I have no idea.
–Kanye West, for saying that he won't attend the Grammy Awards show if Frank Ocean's albums aren't nominated for something. West claims his threat not to attend the show is all about "artists sticking together," which is admirable, but it really doesn't sound like that. It sounds like West thinks the show's ratings will go down if he isn't there. That's presumptuous and incredibly arrogant. Why not attend the show and, if Ocean's albums aren't nominated, talk about that at the show? Wouldn't that make more sense?
-Douchebag Hall of Famer, former Douchebag of the Year, and 2016 Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump, for his disastrous Al Smith charity dinner performance. You know, it's really difficult to screw this up. All you have to do, as a presidential candidate, is tell some lame jokes and move on. Trump, for whatever reason, was unable to do that. It just boggles the mind how bad his performance was.
–Robin Lord Taylor, for for his apparent obsession with Judge Judy. Man, I hope this is some sort of elaborate joke I don't understand. Judge Judy? Really? Savior of the world?
**
Thanks for reading. Agree? Disagree? Sign up with disqus and comment. You know you want to, so just go do it.
Please "like" The Gratuitous B-Movie Column on Facebook!
Oh, and B-movies rule. Always remember that.
[embedded content]
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar